Monday, 25 April 2016

SHE

helplessness. a state where you cannot blame anyone for anything which you are going through.
loss of appetite came as easy as loss of interest in things and people. loss of interest in things that made her happy, things as small as
her favorite ice cream, but wait she never had any favorite. any flavor would do. she lost her interest in chocolates, shopping or putting makeup on,
in parties she would get drunk and would dance to the beats but she would feel none of it. she would just jump and exert herself so that she can sleep well at night.
dreams. she can no longer remember them. "if it's true love, it would come back" thats what they told her. and she would just nod to it. she would put earphones on and play no music,
she would sit like that for a long time, staring into nothingness. she would grow stronger each day, grow a thicker skin, become more inert to all the pain, little by little.
rain would make her sad. his touch haunts her, makes her shiver. she is beautiful in her own way, and men would want to have a piece of her, call her their own and she would try to fall in love but  as soon she entered into that zone with a possibility of fallinng into somebody's arms, she would naturally choak. it would get repulsive. HE was the only true thing she ever had. god it sent chills up her spine. maybe she is overthinking. At the end of the day, each night he would haunt her
and now she's sitting down and writing this on her notepad.

Saturday, 16 April 2016

random fill-up

so i wait for my turn
after you are done talking with her
it's not like i need you
i've been fine walking alone 
star gazing my way back home
where silence waits for me eagerly 
and i embrace myself lovingly
no i am not sad to have nobody
i am but happy to have you in my dreams
but she haunts me even in my world
i don't know if i have wants 
and it kinds of stings 
because i think i am a slave to this helplessness 
and these chains won't ever break
slaves have no rights 
and you have no wrongs 
i am running away from this chaos 
to a much peaceful world i don't belong
it's like i want to collapse right in your arms
but having wants is not what i can have 
wish you could love me
no strings attached 
wish you could try
because i know you are bound by your promises 
and i am bound by injustice to her
is this even real?
if you were in love with her 
then why did fall for me?
it burns my chest
but i am smiling
this pain is real and i see red everywhere 
but i trust time
it will take this away from me too