The Glass Wall

I lost count
my nails were blue

In unconsciousness my hallucinations of you

Turned colorful

But inner emotions and outer expressions
are different

and yes i need them

when I’m shrinking
and gasping

and shivering

but laughing

On the other side of glass wall
you saw me falling
blackout

There is more to us than love

But you can’t see me dying
on the other side of glass wall

Your eyes
deeper than the depths of mercury
made me revive

At that time when I needed them the most

When my ears bled of taunts

i can't be that great to you

as great you are to me

my education's wrong

i broke all my rules

and crossed the boundaries of the limits of my mind

it's not pain

it's not happiness

it's not even something between

it’s something more than love

you called it infatuation

but I’ll take a jar and save some

of this infatuation

On the other side of glass wall

you saw me falling

blackout

There is more to us than love

But you can’t see me dying

on the other side of glass wall

there is more to us than love

there is more to us than love

 there is more to us than love 

Unsaid

"Unsaid "

things will remain unsaid cuz
I'll never be able to tell you myself
how i feel and how i must
about the memories turned into dust
with a pen and crumpled paper i started to write
the things that i couldn't say with numbness on my mind...
i am blank and empty with or without you
I'm strange and mad and dumb too
explore my heart and make it race again
my vision is fading it will all end..
.take me back ...
take me back
like i used to be a year ago
like all those normal people or so..
.i Don't know how i got this way, never thought it would be
my wings destructed to ash maybe
but still...
things remained unsaid and i was never able to tell my self ....

Dark Tunnel With A Bright End

"Dark Tunnel With A Bright End"

See my eyes in the mirror of life
Embracing all the sad things
Holding them tightly
Throwing my shady emotions aside
I crawl towards the happiness………
Maybe it’s a little step in the right way
But something is better than nothing
Now here I go, finding out my own way
A dark tunnel with a bright end
An UN-illuminated Black hole for my goodness
Has disintegrated
Redemptive feelings and belief, now, have mated
Can u see the bright side?
‘May we all live a happy life’
Is what I wish on falling star
For me, for you, for us and we
Are changing and evolving for better now
And maybe it would be a little step in the right way
But something is better than nothing
Now here we all go, finding our own ways
Surely, a dark tunnel with a bright end....

Know me

"know me"

i am totally out of this word
i am the girl who will run away
just for fun...
i am not saying,
that i am the one you're looking for
so first you should know me
before we start something new
then you have to show me
so at least, i would have some clue...
about me and you ...
i am NOT the one who'll ask you for a star
i am NOT the one who likes the advent rain
my world is just too bizarre,
should i let you enter ?
not the kindda gal who'll brag about what's ours
so first you would  have to know me
before we start something new
then you have to show me
so at least, i would have some clue...
about me and you ...
and you and me..
and us ...

A Friend

  "A Friend"

An immature heart left for dilapidation,
he left my time before i knew
how we met is a distant memory
drifting around in oblivion
he's so strong from outside
a lesson of absolute Lucifer
still in his heart, a part of bitter child reside
he, an illustration of punk'd philosopher
he might hurt you
he might burn you
he's lost in bottomless agony
sunken in deep
without leaving a clue
don't mind him, he's admirable,
and when I'm with him i don't have to pretend
above all, he's my friend...
he never let me into his world
but i forced my way in
I, the one who sounded absurd
didn't force him to howl his secrets
he might hurt me
he might burn me
but i don't mind and i do not decline
cuz when I'm with him, i don't have to pretend
all because he's my friend.

Trust Yourself

"Trust Yourself"

A suit of thirteen  

But only one Ace

So play your cards

With glory and grace

Be proud of who you are

Despite of all your flaws

Despite of all your misery

That no one has ever seen

Be patient and trust me

But trust yourself first

You wield the power

To quench your own thirst

And no will come ever come

No one will come for you

Except your own

Except the ones who gave birth to you

But you abandon them

And they seem so wrong

And you forget what they’ve done for you

The ones who’ve always made you strong

The dark side of the world attracts you

and you commit crimes you don't know

and you roam like strays to different venues 

but it's never too late to come back, so

trust me

But trust yourself first

you wield the power 

to change yourself

change for good  

and change for best 

so trust yourself 

because you have something,

a heart meant for loving 

an invincible soul 

and power to control

your mind and your own

the world is yours 

so see these doors

and have courage to walk through 

 and be one of the few 

with triumph on their heads

Be patient and trust me

But trust yourself first

You wield the power

To quench your own thirst.

 

The Autumn Blush

"The Autumn Blush"

A lost present broken soul
a dead butterfly
in the hole
love letters
unopened envelopes
dropped those tears
all alone
as the autumn blushed
they were burned and flushed
in the memory of someone
forgotten and forgotten
she was loved like she's different one
but then why was she hurt
like the others?
feel the warmth
of the morning sun
and forget...
which could never be yours

it was tasteless but sour
emotionless but yours
now you want to erase something
permanent in your memory

consoling people, your
heart is unstable
and you are not able
to gain sense of reality again
tired of hearing voices
tired of pleasing all
you had vast choices
you had it all

the ink dried up
the moon soaked up
blue light cooled
the embedded silver
grew cold and the wind blew
blew away
that piece of paper

it's said and it's done
it can't be undone
irreversible
so damn predictable
a parasite when you are sad
a drug when you are mad

sleepless nights
howls and fights
and you finally gave up ....

lost letters
the unopened envelopes
unspoken words
the untold tales
and they all were burned and flushed
all your dreams were crushed
when this autumn blushed
this autumn blushed ...